Found this webblog about passive aggressive notes. You know how they go, politely worded missives with a little bite. Personally I find these notes a tad annoying and rather condescending and also smacking of cowardice. Also funny and ah heck, it comes with the territory of roommates, non-confrontational friends and co-workers.
Anyways check out the website at;
http://passiveaggressivenotes.wordpress.com/
Passive Aggressive methods are also prevalent when on MSN and text. Most notable are the usage of smilies and winkies to take out the sting out of an aggressive or confrontational message. I really , really , really hate that. Either do it matter of fact or be really clear and honest about it, no? In any case I would hardly construe myself as being confrontational, but passive aggressive ain't my style, it's all about not being aggressive in the first place. Somehow as I write this I recall certain passive aggresive ways in which Onnies team football tactics were discussed last year. Disclaimer, the examples below may be not be altogether accurate as time has this way of warping my memories.
Examples:
Some of us are playing well and some of us are not defending at all! But they're passing ok.
Some people, who just got back from the UK, aren't picking up the slack.
I don't know who, but someone is not passing very well. Hahahaha.
The people up front aren't doing enough running and have crap stamina. But they're tying hard.
Wong, you suck.
Ok , the last one was not passive aggressive at all, that's pure Gopi Shankar-ism. I miss that guy, at least with him you know where you stand. He's either going to insult you, fondle you , rip you off or all three. Yep, I think it's time to get rid of the passive aggressiveness and be IN YOUR FACE. But politely of course.
Now get your asses to the passive aggressive site, thanks! =) and a ;) for good measure!
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20 comments:
Haha! that does bring back some memories.. however i never used BUT in the end. i just complained.
don't worry though.. nowadays.. theres no more passive aggresiveness in the team. its more like.. talking behind each members backs.haha (;P)
and the persons name is mentioned straight away. ' no "someone" or "some ppl" ' just BAM! X does this or X doesnt do this.
That aside, I am guilty of putting smilies in, if you recall, Ifran used to get pissed off everytime i said something "aggressive" but put a smiley. hahahahaha.
however.. this is only because i thought that the msg would come off too harsh or too aggressive you see.don't get me wrong though, you know me, i'd face up and have a face to face confrontation any day than over msn/internet.its just that some things don't NEED face to face confrontations.minor shit.
i disagree with you on the putting smileys and all. it is exactly the purpose of the smileys that they are meant to take the sting out of the msg or to JOKE, or to say something in a friendly manner. there aint just black or white, there are gray areas.putting a smiley doesnt mean youre not honest about it at all.youre putting a smiley so that it comes across as not SO harsh.besides, you cant really pin-point on what the guy REALLY feels anyway over the msn.many people don't even KNOW how to put emotion into chats.they cant spot a joke or if someones kidding. if say i said something like ' you're CRAP in pro evo man wong :p ' i am OBVIOUSLY kidding, taking the piss. but if i didnt have the smiley at the end. ' you're CRAP in pro evo man wong '. you might think i mean it for real.
smileys are there just to soften things up. if you want to be serious,then dont put a smiley.or say 'look i'm serious.' but if you think its just a passing comment or whatever,and you dont think too much about it.then why not? in internet chats you should be clear. its not everyday chats where you can see the persons body language, hear his tone of voice etc.
i thought its universal when someone adds a smiley, theyre being "friendly"
plus.. if you recall..in our Onnies team..noone has really had a group chat where we say ' oh SOMEONE here isnt passing...' or ' sOmeone doesnt know how to defend '. we've usually gone to those who arent the 'topic' and just bitched to them about it.and when those phrases are used there.. i doubt it comes off as 'passive aggresiveness' since the guy isnt even there in the first place isnt it. :P its more like ' aggressive bitchyness ' haha. :P
my 5 cents! feel free to flame! :p <- heheheh. no really.
Hey hey ,I don't flame no haters.
But yeah , naww that's how I remember it, think of saying those lines as SOMEONE , rolls eyes, exaggerated emphasis, all the while staring at Neville or something.
Anyways, yeah I really really have a thing with smilies, but that's me.
I know you use it, Suef, Wayne, mmm yeah and it does annoy the fricking heck. But I also talk to people who don't really use it so I think it's a whole net pandemic, whew!
Hey i totally understand the usage of smilies and why people use them, but dammit, I just don't like it!
Don't know why, could be something traumatic, like Batman's experience or Spidey's responsibility moment, it's just that garrrhhhhhh,HUlk smash!
Anyways the whole point of the article is to take a dig at the passive aggressiveness that prevail in our lives. hey I do it, I may be doing it right now but in any case, the smiley may be a double edge sword as what may be minor issues to you are major issues to someone else, so if you don't go full out, you may never no, no?
I could write a whole article on smilies and their cultural signifier as part of the whole PC culture and and...hmmm interesting thoughts here. Heh, thanks!
hey nice input.other than the smileys and all, i definitely agree on a whole with the article.
in person it does happen obviously, and prevalently.
whether people will are actually trying to come across less confrontational or whether their being aggressive is another issue though.at the end of the day, noone knows but those people themselves. so i think its very hard to know exactly whether a person is being passively aggressive or not. just like you said, what i think is no big deal, may be a big deal to someone else.personal, non-personal etc.maybe it comes down to the old saying ' if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it ' ? oh wells.!
Passive aggressive is so my style, it's quite a good form of mind fucking :). FYI Smiley's are good mind fucking tools too. Erm does this blog need to be censored?
Smileys are annoying but a necessity to take the sting out of things we say online I guess. My two cents worth. Just a question, don't you guys have a job or a life?yeah? then get back to it!
Hey anonymous , you forgot to put in a smiley after that get a life jibe, where's the passive aggressiveness ya douche bag?!
Thanks, asshole!
hey "someone" forgot to put a smiley behind the 'thanks asshole' part! oh..maybe someone really meant it.in which case, i agree :P
yeah we got a life, but leaving a comment or blogging doesnt take up 24 hours does it? unless it does to you? :) if that's so then i am sorry..;P no really..:P yeah.. :P
ooo...a bit touchy aren't we. Don't be such fags.
so how many hours did you take to write that line? :)
my oh my. getting quite heated i see. very controversial topic this. haha
i guess i should give my 2 cents worth on this, huh.
all in all i think its down to the persons intentions. one might have noble intentions of voicing out their unhappiness but without being too sharp.
one might just be sarcastic and cynical inside.
one might just lie to everyone and hide their true feelings.
the only thing important is to be true to yourself and to those close around you.
whether putting smileys or not is not an issue. its more of trusting them.
about our team, i think the onnies team is disbanded. there's a dark cloud hanging over us. i think there's a big lack of communication and trust. its not fun anymore.
sometimes there's the fun friendly bitching. or taking a piss at each other.
sometimes ppl bitch about those that cant take constructive criticisms. so therefor no point in talking to them.
sometimes ppl bitch to just be nasty.
whatever it is, again the intention is important. may one day we can all be open to each other.
thats it from me. is this passive aggressive? which would really make it ironic. i dont know. but i do know that i'm true and with good intentions.
may we all live happily together for a long time and sing kumbaya while holding hands around a fire by the beach.
and for the spineless soul who hides behind the name 'anonymous', please! you're a joke.
but dont let us stop you from your 'life' of reading ppls blogs.
hope you continue entertaining us with your amazingly witty and original come-backs.
Ah let's be honest.the Onnies team will never be the same as it was, isnt it? we all know why.but hey,at least everyone knows I tried.
think we should just get on with it and rebuild the team though.
the communication and trust thing is something we can build upon again.and for the team to be work..honestly, we need to be frank and open with each other.yes, it may come off as being very critical and harsh,especially from me,but i've always been like this and hey, i am working on toning it down.as amin said,it's down to what your true intentions are and mine are clearly to enable to team to work,thus win.not to slander others.it's NEVER been to put others down.what do i gain from bashing others,which makes them offended,which causes unrest and makes the team crap?nothing.
just gotta start playing together more these days, but hell, that's hard aint it? ;P
Just wondering...is the Onnies team a cheerleading team?
Yes indeed.where we come from,cheerleaders pass,shoot and score goals, whereas footballers wear tight outfits,skirts and wave pom-poms. Question answered? :)
Hey Amin, good stuff, And yes I suppose you are right, the wood is rotting so we gotta burn it up and start afresh. Life's too short to be feeling ill inside, but in any case it's up to you all back home to talk this through. Yeah Adly, you can be pretty direct sometimes, which is not a bad thing. But think of Gopi's way with being direct, we tend to listen because the way he does it is more constructive. But communication, less judgment and a willingness to listen and cooperate are always good things.
I am trying to recall how gops does it.. we need his input here! but then again for gops, it's diff, he's like captain,or was considered last time..so we usually listened regardless, it didnt come off harsh from him.
Well as I've said,I've tried doing my part to no avail.The others who seem to have some problems don't really want to step up, they're the non-confrontational type.So that's that for the time being I suppose.Hate to say it but until something negatively major happens and all the kept feelings just blow up...only then will anything be resolved on their part.I barely play with the FULL team these days, so i'm alright with the rest of the crew. ^_^
Honestly dudes, the answer to everything is, you guys should just CHILL. Smoke up and then play, then you'll have loads of Love in the Air :)
You guys bicker and gossip like girls do, guess that's what got you lot into this shit in the first place, eh
You know anonymous, for once you're possibly right..instead of behaving like girls and backstabbing/holding things in, we ALL should have just been up-front from the get-go.In Gopi's style that is,since my way is a little more destructive.
I usually like to chill when I play,but sometimes it's just not that easy mate.
"Should" is pointless at this stage though.its happened,so the question is how to fix it.
Yeah, you're right , we're bitchy little girls. Dammit, it sucks to hear the truth. And no , I'm not being sarcastic, and yes, I agree with chill out and the smoking up.
Next time, we get some quality skunk pre-game eh?
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