Hey y'all, I have been lazy as a hobo lying in the gutter but in my defence...Ah frak it, I have three poems for your reading pleasure. I admit I was on wine when I wrote these beauties, but hey inspiration comes from the bottle, right? right?
Raindrops keep falling on my freaking head
A leaky faucet overhead ,
Turns torrent down on unsuspecting heads,
Rain from the ephemereal,
Look into the funnel of drops,
Be born anew ,
Baptize your self,
With unreligion and health
With wealth and death
Raindrops smacking against my window pane like insects against a windshield
Pah Pah Pahsssss…
Slaps against my face,
Scuds of wet and temporary dye
Leave fingerprints on my eyes
Ears, nose and smell of you
Washed away in a broken pah pah p-a-h…sssssss
As you all can tell, it's been raining a fair bit in London. In June. Also hail, lightning and sunshine. Stupid weather in June. God bless the British truly.
Thursday, 5 July 2007
Saturday, 23 June 2007
I am in a catastrophic amount of pain
Robot Chicken is usually a hit and miss affair. Sometimes it's totally hilarious, sometimes eh.
But somehow this rather sadistic skit on little ponies strikes a chord with my funny bone. A very strong chord.
But somehow this rather sadistic skit on little ponies strikes a chord with my funny bone. A very strong chord.
What I Know About Women
Well, we were given a creative feature assignment on the above topic, which proved to be somewhat amusing. Here is the fruit of my labours so to speak.
Ps. Dramatics have been added to 'spice' up the piece, so don't get your panties in a twist.
P.s.s I may suffer from writer's myopia, so any criticism would be great. Constructive only!
What I Know About Women
There’s a chinese saying that roughly translates as ‘a single woman is a marketplace, while a gathering of women is a whole village’. My dad would whip out this line (in exasperated Cantonese) just about everytime my mum engages her mouth. Whether it be on the phone, with my grandmum, with her gossipy friends or just plain nagging the hell out of the family. In short, my first lesson learnt about women is this that they’re noisy and they’re loud. And oh yeah, they love nagging. Lots and lots of nagging.
By the time I hit puberty, I’ve learnt to shut out the constant chitter-chatter i.e. nagging into ambient white noise. Failing that, I just locked myself in a room with a pillow over my head and turned the radio dial up. This was my second lesson; never ignore the attentions of an excitable and crazed woman. She will bang on your door, scream at the top of her lungs, and threaten to thrash your backside with a rattan cane (those things sting with evil venom) even when you’re a good foot taller and starting to shave and speak back in a deep, ominous voice. And that was just my sister.
My third lesson came in the form of heartbreak and first love. There was this girl who was not rated by my peers, as there were more beautiful creatures prancing about the school. But there was something interesting about her face and she did have the advantage of being rather top-heavy for her age. In any case, I confessed my feelings with a rose at the local coffee shop, heavily relying on the advice of a friend. The lesson learnt was, don’t confess to a girl in front of her friends and never, ever take advice from a male friend who obviously was a total idiot.
Further adventures with women have more or less resulted in similar mishaps and improved fortunes, but the fourth important lesson about women came in the sixth form when I was into this lovely girl. She was smart, funny and very into transformers. More or less the dream woman for me at that age. However, I introduced her to my rather good-looking best friend and well you can guess the rest. So in gist, never introduce your girlfriend to a better-looking mate who goes to the gym. Also, date women in secret until they’re too emotionally invested to move on to better things.
At this point I was ready to give up on women, but annoyingly enough hormones made me soldier on.
It was then I entered into the fifth and perhaps the most useful lesson about women. They rather enjoy being friends if you ‘open up’. By that I mean the sharing of feelings, the bitchier the better apparently. Which brings us to the now. I am wilfully single and still very much a student when it comes to the opposite sex. However I await the next eventual painful lesson with bated breath.
Ps. Dramatics have been added to 'spice' up the piece, so don't get your panties in a twist.
P.s.s I may suffer from writer's myopia, so any criticism would be great. Constructive only!
What I Know About Women
There’s a chinese saying that roughly translates as ‘a single woman is a marketplace, while a gathering of women is a whole village’. My dad would whip out this line (in exasperated Cantonese) just about everytime my mum engages her mouth. Whether it be on the phone, with my grandmum, with her gossipy friends or just plain nagging the hell out of the family. In short, my first lesson learnt about women is this that they’re noisy and they’re loud. And oh yeah, they love nagging. Lots and lots of nagging.
By the time I hit puberty, I’ve learnt to shut out the constant chitter-chatter i.e. nagging into ambient white noise. Failing that, I just locked myself in a room with a pillow over my head and turned the radio dial up. This was my second lesson; never ignore the attentions of an excitable and crazed woman. She will bang on your door, scream at the top of her lungs, and threaten to thrash your backside with a rattan cane (those things sting with evil venom) even when you’re a good foot taller and starting to shave and speak back in a deep, ominous voice. And that was just my sister.
My third lesson came in the form of heartbreak and first love. There was this girl who was not rated by my peers, as there were more beautiful creatures prancing about the school. But there was something interesting about her face and she did have the advantage of being rather top-heavy for her age. In any case, I confessed my feelings with a rose at the local coffee shop, heavily relying on the advice of a friend. The lesson learnt was, don’t confess to a girl in front of her friends and never, ever take advice from a male friend who obviously was a total idiot.
Further adventures with women have more or less resulted in similar mishaps and improved fortunes, but the fourth important lesson about women came in the sixth form when I was into this lovely girl. She was smart, funny and very into transformers. More or less the dream woman for me at that age. However, I introduced her to my rather good-looking best friend and well you can guess the rest. So in gist, never introduce your girlfriend to a better-looking mate who goes to the gym. Also, date women in secret until they’re too emotionally invested to move on to better things.
At this point I was ready to give up on women, but annoyingly enough hormones made me soldier on.
It was then I entered into the fifth and perhaps the most useful lesson about women. They rather enjoy being friends if you ‘open up’. By that I mean the sharing of feelings, the bitchier the better apparently. Which brings us to the now. I am wilfully single and still very much a student when it comes to the opposite sex. However I await the next eventual painful lesson with bated breath.
Thursday, 7 June 2007
The Future Is Now
We live in exciting times, the arrival of the super-future is arriving at our doorstep day by day. Just check out the following examples of why the amber beginnings of the 21st century will glow hotter and brighter. Hot damn, I love this stuff!
http://www.apple.com/iphone/ads/
Slobber, iphone, drool, slobber, drool, iphone, repeat, rinse, drool.
Great Buddha! It's a touch screen orgasmastron inducing, hopefully bug free coffe table computer!
For more go to here: http://www.microsoft.com/surface/
http://www.apple.com/iphone/ads/
Slobber, iphone, drool, slobber, drool, iphone, repeat, rinse, drool.
Great Buddha! It's a touch screen orgasmastron inducing, hopefully bug free coffe table computer!
For more go to here: http://www.microsoft.com/surface/
Friday, 25 May 2007
Cartoon Nostalgia , Yeeaawww!
This is a media post celebrating all that was glorious and good of our youth, namely cartoons! In today's Media Friday, I shall post the most kick-ass intro songs to the most kick-ass action cartoons of yester-year. And no, the Transformers aren't in it, because really, it's in a special class of its own. In no particular order ( although personally its a three-way battle for my fave between Batman, Silver Hawk and Grandizer),here they are!
10. Voltron
heh, Voltron. The legend, the legend of Voltron, defender of the Universe. A mighty robot , loved by good, feared by evil.
Such eloquence, such gravitas,and the line, I'll form the HEAD!. Sniff, brings a tear to my eye.
9. Robotech
Most graceful application of fighter-jet to robot mode to halfsies ( Guardian mode for all you fans) I've ever had the privilege to watch on TV. Ok, purists may point out that the whole series was an amalgamation of three different Japanese anime, but fuck that, the theme song rocked, the characters were solid and while the story-line was tweaked to fit those 3 animes ( and was rather confusing to this kid) it's nostalgic value will never be doubted.
8. Mask
Working overtime! Fighting crime x 2
Come on, let's all sing-a-long! Blatant cartoon made to sell toys, but the toys were awesome so I don't care.
7. Superman: TAS
Horns, trumpets blaring, the Man of Steel's much deserved intro swoops down and swings up, finishing with a impressive crescendo.
6. Adventures Of Batman And Robin
Yeap, I loved of Batman: The Animated Series, but the intro to the Adventures Of Batman And Robin is the definite tone for the cartoon for me. Operatic, moody, dark, climatic, noir, fuck just listen to it. And since we're on Batman, here are the rest of my pick of the intros including the original Batman:TAS, the excellent Mask of The Phantasm movie and the Batman/Superman series. All are great, great stuff.
Batman: TAS
Batman/Superman
The Mask of the Phantasm - Best Batman theme song EVER.
5. Saber-Rider
OOOoo yeah, I love the electro -whiplash sound in this bad boy. Frigging awesome armour, vehicles and massive Giant Cowboy Robot/ Spaceship that BLOWS the opposition away.
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I vote this most likely to be sung at someone's future wedding whilst drunk off my arse. TURTLE POWER!
3. Grandizer
Fuck yeah! No lyrics, no crappy words , just the pure rumblings of the awesome Grandizer in action. Also the ending sequence in Arabic??! which is just...ear-numbingly cool.
2. Silver Hawk
Damn, I loved this show. The villains were bad-ass, the heroes shiny and sleek and for some reason it had this dark-undercurrent to it, well to my kid-self anyways. Plus that whole mask thing with the hand, AWESOME. Dig that hawk cry too, KreeeEE!
1. Thundercats
Yeah, no surprises here. The phallic implications of Lion-O's sword aside, this series has it all, Super-scary muthafucking villain Mum-Ra, Cheetarah in the nude, super-neato thunder-tank and awesome repetitive theme song.
10. Voltron
heh, Voltron. The legend, the legend of Voltron, defender of the Universe. A mighty robot , loved by good, feared by evil.
Such eloquence, such gravitas,and the line, I'll form the HEAD!. Sniff, brings a tear to my eye.
9. Robotech
Most graceful application of fighter-jet to robot mode to halfsies ( Guardian mode for all you fans) I've ever had the privilege to watch on TV. Ok, purists may point out that the whole series was an amalgamation of three different Japanese anime, but fuck that, the theme song rocked, the characters were solid and while the story-line was tweaked to fit those 3 animes ( and was rather confusing to this kid) it's nostalgic value will never be doubted.
8. Mask
Working overtime! Fighting crime x 2
Come on, let's all sing-a-long! Blatant cartoon made to sell toys, but the toys were awesome so I don't care.
7. Superman: TAS
Horns, trumpets blaring, the Man of Steel's much deserved intro swoops down and swings up, finishing with a impressive crescendo.
6. Adventures Of Batman And Robin
Yeap, I loved of Batman: The Animated Series, but the intro to the Adventures Of Batman And Robin is the definite tone for the cartoon for me. Operatic, moody, dark, climatic, noir, fuck just listen to it. And since we're on Batman, here are the rest of my pick of the intros including the original Batman:TAS, the excellent Mask of The Phantasm movie and the Batman/Superman series. All are great, great stuff.
Batman: TAS
Batman/Superman
The Mask of the Phantasm - Best Batman theme song EVER.
5. Saber-Rider
OOOoo yeah, I love the electro -whiplash sound in this bad boy. Frigging awesome armour, vehicles and massive Giant Cowboy Robot/ Spaceship that BLOWS the opposition away.
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I vote this most likely to be sung at someone's future wedding whilst drunk off my arse. TURTLE POWER!
3. Grandizer
Fuck yeah! No lyrics, no crappy words , just the pure rumblings of the awesome Grandizer in action. Also the ending sequence in Arabic??! which is just...ear-numbingly cool.
2. Silver Hawk
Damn, I loved this show. The villains were bad-ass, the heroes shiny and sleek and for some reason it had this dark-undercurrent to it, well to my kid-self anyways. Plus that whole mask thing with the hand, AWESOME. Dig that hawk cry too, KreeeEE!
1. Thundercats
Yeah, no surprises here. The phallic implications of Lion-O's sword aside, this series has it all, Super-scary muthafucking villain Mum-Ra, Cheetarah in the nude, super-neato thunder-tank and awesome repetitive theme song.
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
I Hate Passive Aggressive Shit, But Thanks ;)
Found this webblog about passive aggressive notes. You know how they go, politely worded missives with a little bite. Personally I find these notes a tad annoying and rather condescending and also smacking of cowardice. Also funny and ah heck, it comes with the territory of roommates, non-confrontational friends and co-workers.
Anyways check out the website at;
http://passiveaggressivenotes.wordpress.com/
Passive Aggressive methods are also prevalent when on MSN and text. Most notable are the usage of smilies and winkies to take out the sting out of an aggressive or confrontational message. I really , really , really hate that. Either do it matter of fact or be really clear and honest about it, no? In any case I would hardly construe myself as being confrontational, but passive aggressive ain't my style, it's all about not being aggressive in the first place. Somehow as I write this I recall certain passive aggresive ways in which Onnies team football tactics were discussed last year. Disclaimer, the examples below may be not be altogether accurate as time has this way of warping my memories.
Examples:
Some of us are playing well and some of us are not defending at all! But they're passing ok.
Some people, who just got back from the UK, aren't picking up the slack.
I don't know who, but someone is not passing very well. Hahahaha.
The people up front aren't doing enough running and have crap stamina. But they're tying hard.
Wong, you suck.
Ok , the last one was not passive aggressive at all, that's pure Gopi Shankar-ism. I miss that guy, at least with him you know where you stand. He's either going to insult you, fondle you , rip you off or all three. Yep, I think it's time to get rid of the passive aggressiveness and be IN YOUR FACE. But politely of course.
Now get your asses to the passive aggressive site, thanks! =) and a ;) for good measure!
Anyways check out the website at;
http://passiveaggressivenotes.wordpress.com/
Passive Aggressive methods are also prevalent when on MSN and text. Most notable are the usage of smilies and winkies to take out the sting out of an aggressive or confrontational message. I really , really , really hate that. Either do it matter of fact or be really clear and honest about it, no? In any case I would hardly construe myself as being confrontational, but passive aggressive ain't my style, it's all about not being aggressive in the first place. Somehow as I write this I recall certain passive aggresive ways in which Onnies team football tactics were discussed last year. Disclaimer, the examples below may be not be altogether accurate as time has this way of warping my memories.
Examples:
Some of us are playing well and some of us are not defending at all! But they're passing ok.
Some people, who just got back from the UK, aren't picking up the slack.
I don't know who, but someone is not passing very well. Hahahaha.
The people up front aren't doing enough running and have crap stamina. But they're tying hard.
Wong, you suck.
Ok , the last one was not passive aggressive at all, that's pure Gopi Shankar-ism. I miss that guy, at least with him you know where you stand. He's either going to insult you, fondle you , rip you off or all three. Yep, I think it's time to get rid of the passive aggressiveness and be IN YOUR FACE. But politely of course.
Now get your asses to the passive aggressive site, thanks! =) and a ;) for good measure!
Tuesday, 15 May 2007
Media Tuesday - 5 Awesomely cool Music Vids
It's a dull and grey May Tuesday, with increasing chances of rain. So to perk myself up as well hopefully some of you guys, I have my 5 music videos to watch. Thanks to Youtube of course.
1. Carpark North- Human.
Fucking crazy kids. Only good song I like too from this Scandinavian band, at least I think they're Scandanavian...
2. OK Go - Do What You Want
Yeah I like OK GO, they're awesomely fun. Haven't seen their treadmill video yet? It's on this blog somewhere, go check it out! In the realtime, enjoy this video of dancing wallpaper. Trippy, mmmm.
3. Cornelius - Fit
The boys from Japan, crazy creative. Check out this vibe-tastic video.
4. Fatboy Slim- Weapon Of Choice
Ahhhh, my very berry very supervery favourite music video of ALL time. Christopher Walken doing his thang, what's not to love?
5. Radiohead - High And Dry
Nostalgic choice really. I remember watching this on those sunny afternoons after school back at my grandma's place in Bangsar. When there was no Astro and all they had on TV back then were the top 20 hit videos or something on Thursdays or was it Tuesdays? No matter, my memory's fuzzy, but this tune and video still sticks in my heart like a sore thumb.
1. Carpark North- Human.
Fucking crazy kids. Only good song I like too from this Scandinavian band, at least I think they're Scandanavian...
2. OK Go - Do What You Want
Yeah I like OK GO, they're awesomely fun. Haven't seen their treadmill video yet? It's on this blog somewhere, go check it out! In the realtime, enjoy this video of dancing wallpaper. Trippy, mmmm.
3. Cornelius - Fit
The boys from Japan, crazy creative. Check out this vibe-tastic video.
4. Fatboy Slim- Weapon Of Choice
Ahhhh, my very berry very supervery favourite music video of ALL time. Christopher Walken doing his thang, what's not to love?
5. Radiohead - High And Dry
Nostalgic choice really. I remember watching this on those sunny afternoons after school back at my grandma's place in Bangsar. When there was no Astro and all they had on TV back then were the top 20 hit videos or something on Thursdays or was it Tuesdays? No matter, my memory's fuzzy, but this tune and video still sticks in my heart like a sore thumb.
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